Save The Day Salmon/ You cant save me — Porch,Wine & Gravy

Every once in awhile I like to throw in one of my secret recipes that looks like they would take a long time but really are almost effortless (Pie Canaille and Crazy Lady Carnitas fit this category.)

This week I finally got to my taxes (yes I know it’s October). I am busy y’all and a little bit of a basket case. Just this week I have - worn my shirt inside out all day, put on two different shoes, bought groceries and forgot them (twice,) had to search out the strange smell in my car (also twice,) broke a bowl, a full length mirror, a ceramic life-size horse head, Jesus’s fingers…I can keep going. To top it off I destroyed my house pulling every piece of paperwork out, forming piles on every surface, roaming around like a mad woman yelling at her imaginary friend that lost her paperwork. Four hours later I realize my bank has all my info and had my paperwork to me in less than 5 minutes. When you walk in the bank and the banker says “Hi Ms. Jolie what did you lose this time?” You may have a problem. I mean I have only thrown my debit card in a trash can twice (this year).

My poor family. I am the kid that flushed the car keys down the toilet while on a road trip in the mountains. Most people hide in bathroom stalls from bloodthirsty murderers, not me. I stood on a toilet seat to hide from the unavoidable wrath that is my Maw-Maw. As a child I got a vase stuck to my face, a pen stuck up my nose, my butt stuck in a fishbowl, hung from a fence by my underwear (once again this could go on forever. Along with talent I also retain the amazing quality of hurting myself on a continuous basis. Just last month I destroyed my ankle. Working out you ask? Don’t be silly! No one has time for that nonsense. Nope, my erratic ass decided I could get in some lawn mowing done in between appointments. Did I put on proper attire? Of course not, why would I ever do that. I decided I could mow the lawn in my dress and heels. Let's just say I am sure the neighbor would have appreciated the peep show from a smaller less aged ass. As you see, I need these sneaky recipes to survive the torture that is myself.

Since there are very few components in this recipe, try your best to get quality ingredients. If you can afford it, get the good salmon. Not the “it may be salmon or it may be a fish that resembles salmon dyed pink with the dye that they probably also use to make those creepy pink hot dogs salmon." I have also done this same recipe with different fish and chicken. If you do change the portion size adjust your cooking time accordingly. You can also swap out veggies - the world is your foil wrap. You just tear off a nice size piece of foil and layer as such - vegetable, protein slices of lemon. Once layered I sprinkle with a little olive oil and either a seasoning mix or good old salt and pepper. Seal up your foil and all sides and pop in the oven. There you have it dinner!

We love sauces in this family so I use the ever trusty blender hollandaise for this. Just like above, very simple. The key is to do a quick turn in the blender with the egg yolks, lemon juice, mustard and hot sauce. After that, you slowly add your hot melted butter as the blender is on (leave the cap on and take out that nifty middle part). A few seconds later you have hollandaise. Play around with flavors in the hollandaise. I have switched out Creole mustard for dijon, added chipotle instead of Tabasco or throw in one of my seasoning mixes. The world is your blender hollandaise. (Oh yeah I made the same cheesy joke twice, I have no shame.)

Open the packet transfer your ingredients to a plate and drizzle over your hollandaise. What's great is this is simple enough for a dinner at home with the kids and fancy enough to serve at grown up dinner parties.