It’s probably about time to start a monthly post about things that disturb or irritate me. This is mainly a response to worrying about running out of things to write. If I write down all my annoyances I should have enough material to keep going till I take my last breath. 

These are no specific order just whatever rolls out my brain first.

1. Those ladies who have perfect hairdos and manicured nails yet are in public wearing gym shorts or half-hearted work out clothes. First of all, why did you stop? Why do the makeup and hair and then quit at the clothes? Maybe you're trying to convince me that you look this good while working out. Well let’s see, you in no way look like you exerted yourself, wearing flip flops is another sure fire sign you didn’t just leave your spin cycle class or maybe you think your yoga pants equals I am yogi. The fact that your grocery cart is full of Pop Tarts and Pringles says that is highly unlikely. It’s not the work out clothes or the makeup and hair. It’s the fact that they don’t go together. I have two modes full on sloth and ready to paint the town. Maybe it’s left over from my childhood obsession with matching. You lady look like those houses when they just paint the front and leave the rest of the house unfinished. I’m sure I sound like a terribly judgemental person. It’s not about thinking I’m better. Those houses bug me just as much as the ladies do. Either look like a full slob like the rest of us or make me wonder how you look that good getting groceries, stop messing with my brain, pick one.

2. Have you ever noticed when you drive by a fender bender if one of them is in a luxury vehicle they are calm as a cucumber? The other person is scrambling around making frantic phone calls while "Señor Fancy Car" is just rocking back on his heels visiting with the police officer. It’s makes it very apparent how untouchable the wealthy are. Any accident where the police are involved the normal person feels stress and worry. It’s like when you are in high school and every time you got called to the office you rolled around is your head what you could have done wrong, no way there was good news on the other side of that door. What did the cool kids do? Grab their books with a giant smile on their face and head out the door totally confident that only good things were to come. I’m sure it is out of pure bitterness but this lack of fear and worry drives me crazy. My only solace is this lack of worry equals to a lack of personality. I may not have this “it will be fine” confidence but I can have a conversation with my best friend after a bad day and we laugh so hard wine will come shooting out my nose. So keep your perfect world I’ll take hysterical laughter in a dodge mini van that smells like shrimp and feet any day.

3. Nut Milk! Can we just call it what it is? Juice, it’s nut juice. Milk comes from lactating beings. Human or animal but it’s is the definition of milk. There is no such thing as Nut Milk. We don’t say Apple Milk or Goat Juice. It’s Nut Juice people. I understand this may disturb you but it disturbs me just as much that this is now becoming a recognized milk product. I don’t drink Cow Juice and you don’t drink Nut Milk.

Jolie Meaux